The Garden of Earthly Delights

Located deep in the inner portions of a Dutchman’s mind, the Garden is a bizarre landscape of striking and disturbing images. It is now open for tours at all hours of the day and night. There is a self-guided option, and one may also choose from the many, many tour guides available. However, none of these guides agree on what the garden contains, and their interpretations of this destination vary in soundness from those that make sense to those that are as grotesque as the garden itself.

Each tour of this famous garden has three stops, moving from left to right.  The first, to the left is an idyllic Edenic setting. Here is the awe-inspiring sight of a young Earth on what appears to be the sixth day of creation. We see the moment that Adam is introduced to Eve. The view is open and uncluttered and the garden here is elegantly designed to please the eye.

In the second stop of the tour, the visitor is shown the consequences of the meeting in the first panel. This is a human world, filled with the slaking of human desires. It is, in fact, one big orgy. There are naked people everywhere, doing all sorts of things, the sorts of things that involve sticking things in other things. Despite all of this activity, this part of the garden is a very successful strawberry patch. This fruit grows all over the garden, and is put to some imaginative uses by the residents.

On second thought, I'll have the marmalade.

The final stop on the tour is a hellscape of disturbing weirdness. This portion of the garden is dark, and what light there is comes from the burning sulfur that also lends its distinctive odor to the atmosphere. First time visitors will be shown immediately to the tree-man, whose trunk has been severed so that he supports himself on his arms. This sight is a must-see, as it is the most famous item in the Garden.

Just like Paris has the Eiffel Tower and London has Big Ben.

The Garden is so full of sights that it bears many repeat visits. So tourists enjoy taking the whole thing in, and others prefer to return exclusively to one portion of the garden. The Garden is worth the visit both on its own merits, and because it has influenced many other imaginary places.