Planet of TV Advertising

You have heard many times that money does not buy happiness. This aphorism may be true on Earth, but even speaking it is against the law on the Planet of TV Advertising. Here, all of life’s challenges can be solved easily by purchasing the correct consumer product. Family strife can be solved with jewelry or a nice resort vacation; foreign languages can be completely mastered in three weeks; true friends are only a cup of coffee away.

Most first-time visitors are astounded by the planet’s inhabitants. Advertians are all good-looking and charismatic. They have perfect, white teeth and their clothing is inevitably clean and bright.

The air on the planet is always fresh and smells of pine, even in urban areas. The weather is invariably sunny and warm everywhere. The only exception is along country roads at night time. These can be dangerous and slippery, so make sure your car has the right braking system and the best tires.

Car trouble is inevitable on this stretch of road.

The Planet of TV advertising is famous for its night-life. The action in clubs and private parties starts at sundown. The only admission fee is a can of inexpensive light beer, the presence of which will send the Advertians into a frenzy of dancing.

A typical Advertian party-goer

Smoking, once a popular pastime, is now banned. Those caught smoking are immediately banned to the PSA district, also home to drug-users and those who do not floss regularly. The PSA district is governed by a single Native American who can’t seem to stop crying.

Kaplan, Louisiana native, Espera Oscar di Corti*

Staying on the Planet of TV Advertising is not cheap, as everything everywhere is for sale. Those on a budget are welcome, but may have to spend their stay in Brandex.

Flights to the Planet of TV Advertising depart the US once about every eight minutes, and flights typically last about four minutes, longer between the hours of 7 p.m. and 10 p.m.

*Truth