Notre Dame Cathedral

No visit to fictional Paris would be complete without a tour of Notre Dame Catherdral. Here is the site of drama, intrigue, passion and copious amounts of gothic gloom.

Keep in mind: his other famous novel is called "Miserables."

To reach the cathedral, first you must pass through the rabbit-warren of narrow streets, each with its own long history (most people just skip that part). Tour groups form up in the shadowy sunless entrance and leave hourly. Your guide, a misshapen hunch-backed mute, will point and grunt at objects of interest. Unfortunately most of them are trinkets, associated with a local Gypsy dancer, that he’s hidden around the many narrow, dark crevices in the stonework. Tours are interrupted every 15 minutes as he scurries up to the tower to rings the famous bells.

The tour continues on the square outside the cathedral. Here you can marvel at the gibbet where your guide was publicly humiliated for his attempts to express his love. Its implicit threat looms over the entire area. There is also the old woman who has been walled up in a small room as penance for the sins of Paris.

As the tour nears its end, the tragic connection between all of these elements—the gibbet, the woman, the dancer and your guide—will become apparent. There are some versions of the tour that try to gloss over this and make the cathedral seem fun and entertaining. You are welcome to take one of these instead, but you’ll be missing out on the real Notre Dame Cathedral experience.

"Let's dig up Victor Hugo

and punch his corpse..."

Others who have experienced the cathedral, or who would like to, please leave a comment.