Land of 1,000 Dances

          

 Those in need of a quick pick-me-up are invited to visit the Land of 1,000 Dances. Tours last only about two minutes and thirty seconds, but are as exhilarating as many longer, more elaborate trips to other destinations.

          The Land of 1,000 Dances is very small, and is entirely surrounded by the Wilson Memorial Picket Fence.  Entrance to this small country is through the main gate, where the fee to enter is 1.23 in the local currency, called the “Wow.”

          Every entrant is welcomed with a horn fanfare. The traditional greeting consists of placing one’s hands on one’s hips, and then allowing one’s backbone to slip. This movement is accompanied by vigorous grunting. The cuisine in this country has only two foods, alligator and mashed potato. Both are served constantly throughout the day and night, and are always hot.

Dancing comprises the entire reason this country exists. Be sure to book well in advance for one of the elite VIP visits. Packages include: doing the Pony with Bony Moronie, or joining Lucy in the Watusi. For those in search of a more intimate experience, Long Tall Sally can be contracted for dances in the alley.

Almost as interesting as its culture dedicated entirely to popular dances of the early 1960s, is the language of the Land of 1,000 dances. It is a linguistic phenomenon that baffles both linguists and semioticians. This language, called “Na,” consists exclusively of that one syllable, chanted repeatedly.  What appears on the written page as a monotonous baby-language is, when spoken, capable of a wide range of emotion.

Although there have been many attempts to duplicate the experience of a visit to the Land of 1,000 Dances in other venues, none has been able to match the original.

This one, for example, is notable for being perfectly square.

Visit it today, and often--repeat visits are heavily encouraged